No Time

"You cannot take all luggage with you on all journeys. We are not living in a world where all roads are radii of a circle and where all, if followed long enough, will therefore draw gradually nearer and finally meet at the center: rather in a world where every road, after a few miles, forks into two, and each of those into two again, and at each fork you must make a decision. Even on the biological level life is not like a river, but like a tree. It does not move towards unity but away from it and the creatures grow further apart as they increase in perfection. Good, as it ripens, becomes continually more different not only from evil, but from other good. I do not think that all who choose wrong roads perish; but their rescue consists in being put back on the right road. A sum can be put right: but only by going back til you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on. Evil can be undone, but it cannot 'develop' into good. Time does not heal it. The spell must be unwound, bit by bit 'with backward mutters of dissevering power'--or else not. It is still 'either-or'. If we insist on keeping Hell (or even Earth) we shall not see Heaven: if we accept Heaven we shall not be able to retain even the smallest and most intimate souvenirs of Hell." (From Preface to "The Great Divorce" by C.S. Lewis)

Contemplative. That is where I have been lately. Though it seems cliche' to speak of the brevity of life, I must.
Only last night my sister's dear friend lost her father and two brothers in an airplane accident. Today, their families and friends grieve.
Last week a funeral was held for Cooper Kofford, a 4 year old relative of my husband's family who was accidentally backed over in a driveway.
I lost a friend, Lori, five years ago when her husband, whom she trusted, shot her while she slept.
Two other high school friends, Bryan and Marcus, were taken in a car accident just before our senior year.
My cousin, Rachel, who was hit by a car as a child.
My own father was taken nearly 26 years ago in yet another tragic airplane accident. Yet, by his own admittance in a talk to youth just two week prior, he claimed he "was ready" should he be called Home tomorrow. Am I?
Time is short. How arrogant we are to think we will have tomorrow. We might not. Aren't we always chasing after time as if to capture it in our hands, using it to our discretion? In truth, it is too slippery to be held and refuses to be caged.
There IS no time.
No time for choosing--we must know truth prior to any 'fork' our path brings.
No time to offend
To take offense
No time to withhold love, or respect
Or to entertain Pride, in all his ugliness.
No time to ignore Beauty
or simple things
or thoughts of good, no matter how trite.
No time for negative thoughts.
No time to put off acting in the now
Or apologies
or forgiveness
or repentance.
No time to ponder on less-than-perfect physicalities,
because in the end, does it really matter?
Not time to allow our man to drive, to navigate
what we do
our desires
our passions
our addictions.
No time to fill every corner of our life with technology
to avoid speaking true.
For impatience
or using that captured time on things not lasting.
No time to shadow our talents
or to avoid being silly
or laughing.
No time for jealousies
or anger
or on spending money on things not lasting.
No time for closed ears.

What am I making of my life today? For me, not enough. I must cement my convictions, to stand true amongst the many approaching torrents.
Life.
We've only got one.
And the sands are thinning.