BFF

Everyone needs a BFF.

Someone who will listen.

And laugh at your jokes.

Someone to just chum around with any old time.

Or, in the case of these two, ALL the time.
Colby told Adam's mom today that
he and Adam were twins,
and, quite frankly,
there are days when I'd believe it.

Saturday's Soap Box

One of my kids asked me the other day what the purpose of Halloween was. Every other holiday has a purpose right? At least that is what I try to teach my kids. Honestly, I didn't know how to answer her. Candy? Getting dressed up and parading down the street begging for treats? Getting scared? Umm, let me get back to you on that Sweetie.

It's no secret that Halloween is one of my least favorite holidays. And I'm not talking about the sugar detox that we go through with our kids for about a month after said holiday. Or the ever-growing number of pumpkins we have to carve with our children each year. I wasn't always Mrs. Halloween Grinch. In fact, when I was a kid the day seemed magical. "So what you're telling me is that I get to dress up as anything I want, go house to house and they will give me candy? Seriously?"

Something has happened in the last few years that has killed the innocence of the holiday. I walked into one of those seasonal Halloween stores the other day looking for a Jedi robe for my husband. Simple enough, right? Instead, as soon as I walked in, a heavy dark cloud circled around me and landed squarely on my shoulders and head, pushing me down, making me feel tense and downright gross. It was a store wall-to-wall in not just blood-covered knives and gore, but things that are disgustingly wrong. There were costumes touting the highest degree of sleaze I have ever seen. I'm not just talking about cleavage and garter belts. I can't even mention the sorts of pornographic costumes they have conjured for both men and women that throw anything sacred out the window and flaunt ALL for the world to see. The underlying message attached to each of these costumes (and there are several) was the worst part. I looked around at all the other un-shocked customers. Really? Is everyone else okay with this?

And then there was the huge center display of gory zombie babies. Green, covered in blood, red shining eyes, gargling, wickedly cackling, chewing their own legs down to the bone babies. I looked at my own baby on my hip (about the same size as these creatures) and wondered why people have decided to make the purest form of a person into demons meant to kill. One of the employees pointed to one of the red demons and said to another employee, "I want this one so bad!" Huh.

Who buys this filth? And yet, sadly, it sells. I left hell as fast as my legs could carry me, shielding my baby's eyes the entire way, feeling more lifted the farther I got from the place. And they didn't even carry a Jedi robe. Heavens no! That would be too good. Too right. Not evil enough.

Is this what Halloween has become? It seems like no matter where I go (Target, Walmart, etc.) the costumes for sale seems to push the envelope a little bit more each year. Just try finding a costume for a teenager that doesn't make her look like the downtown corner street hooker. In fact, I tried finding an Alice in Wonderland costume for my 9 year old this year--you wouldn't believe what raunchy Alice costumes retailers have conjured up! Isn't Alice supposed to be sweetly innocent?

I think it is because of these sorts of retail trends, that Halloween has lost it's enjoyment for me. It's the "it's okay to be the sleaze you aren't able to be the other 354 days of the year" mentality that is being forced into our kids' minds. I say forced because these costumes hang in every store you walk into. I feel like the "purpose" of Halloween is being warped and I'm helpless to fight it.

Yep. It's settled. If I had to choose to rid the world of only one holiday, it would be Halloween. Clearly. So c'mon people, let's bring back the fun, light-heartedness of Halloween! I know it's out there! It may be 6 ft under in some R-rated zombie-infested cemetery, but it's out there.

I had a crummy day.

Not quite sure how to come down from a day like today.
Correction: I'm already down.
So how do I pull myself back up?
It was definitely one of those days where I didn't live up to the blog name,
as is too-often the case.

It started without a shower.
Ended with tears and broken glass.
Add to that the prayer, "Please bless that Mom can get over her temper."
Yah, one of those days.
And lest you think I was screaming and throwing plates at my kids,
let me ease your mind, my friend--that's not what happened.
Broken glass came from one too-curious and regularly disobedient 1-year old
who likes to get into my casserole dish cabinet.
Yelling. . . well, that may have come from me.
Not at said baby.
No, mostly to the other four rambunctious disobeyers.
Tears? Those were mine too.
Some days I just don't feel like a great mom.
Todd has been out of the country all week.
I've been sick all week.
Not usually a great combination.
So I vent to cyberspace,
hoping for tension to deflate from the rocks that have formed on my back,
flow down my arms
and ooze out my fingertips as I write,
leaving me, hopefully, relaxed enough to be able to sleep tonight.
Because there has been very little of that going on this week.
And I need it oh so badly.

How about rather than list the muck,
I'll mention the rays of sunlight that made my day bearable.

One ray shone through the little girl named Jessica.
I helped her learn her 8s times tables.
She is new to Alli's class and is a bit behind the others.
I gave her a few pointers, hints
and in five minutes she had a more confident smile,
excitement to try them again
and again.
By the end, she gifted me with high fives.
Won't her teacher be surprised when she aces her 8s tomorrow?

Another came through a friend
who brought me a bowl of hot roasted butternut squash soup
for no reason at all
not even knowing about my day.
Or did she see it all over my face?
Or unkempt hair?
Or smell my unbathed body?
Regardless, it was delicious
and I was grateful.

Or in the Pumpkin Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies
I made today.
Mmmmm.

Or in the glowing emails from the moms of the playgroup kids I had at my house today.
Telling me how much their kids loved the Halloween party I had here.
Nice to know the frantic, thrown-together-last-minute activities
were a hit with those little munchkins.

Or in the moment when, reading a goodnight book to my Ty,
his body melts down next to mine,
snuggling in close
more interested in the colors on the pages than the words I was speaking,
or in the sound of mom's voice than the storyline.

Or in the simple lingering,
from a budding teenager (okay 11-year old who acts very much like one)
to be near me
after everyone has gone to bed,
for no reason whatsoever.
Though most times I anger
that she is past bedtime,
not keeping to our lights out rule,
tonight I felt perplexingly okay with her dawdling.

Or discovering "Facetime" on iPods,
how it connects instantly faces of lovers, companions
who are worlds apart.
Competing in the Worlds Silliest Face contest
every single time we chat in this way.
Yah, that made me laugh today.
And I'm amazed at how just seeing him
calms my soul.

So, whaddya say self?
Should we put away the ranting?
The thoughts of self-pity,
the "woe-is-me" attitude?
Because sunlight trumps clouds in my book anyday!

See, I feel better already.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl.

I love this picture.
It epitomizes everything Alli is.
She has a giant heart
full of love for every person,
especially her family.
Today is her day.
She is 9.
Each year with her has been precious.
(In fact, I got weepy going through all these old photos of her!)
Why can't time slow?
Just a little?

2002

2003

2004

2005

2006

2007


2008 (rock climbing party this year)


2009


2010


Today


Happy Birthday Little Bug. We love you.

Money Matters Monday--Peanut Butter Shortage

CNN recently reported that the cost of peanut butter is about to sky rocket. Supply is down, but demand is still up, and we all know from elementary school what is bound to happen. Planters is reporting a suspected increase of 40% by the end of the month!!! I know, just what we all need--another increase amidst a financial recession. If you like peanut butter, or have lots of school lunches to make like me, then it's time to stock up on your supply. Like this week if possible. I didn't know about this report, but feel lucky to have stocked up on the recent .88 cent/bottle of peanut butter at Buy Low. I have also seen them that low at Maceys recently, so check your local super market.

Funny Friday

My brother sent this to me and it seriously cracks me up! We did this sort of surprise for our kids once. I might just have to dig it out and post it for next week. Happy Friday!

I have a new obsession.

For someone who doesn't watch tv, like EVER, this is huge. I knew I had to watch The Sing-Off this season when some friends tipped me off to who is on this season. I caught up on Hulu. You should too.

Amy Whitcomb went to BYU and is a good friend of my neighbor. Dang, that girl can sing! This performance was amazing.



And, of course, BYU's very own Vocal Point. Extremely talented. Extremely entertaining. I'll be sad to have either one of these groups leave the competition.
I just love watching them so much!

October 5

28 years ago,
and today I shared a story about you with your grand-kids.
Love you Dad.

This is what our Conference weekend looks like

I love General Conference. It is like a warm, safe blanket for me. It always ends far too quickly and I leave feeling full, yet still wanting more. One word: powerful. It just was. Through inspiring words from the church leaders, I'm realizing now more than ever the weighty responsibility that is on my shoulders (and Todd's) to raise our kids to have their own testimonies of our Savior. Not to rely on ours, but even at their young ages, to stand firm with their own. In our world of technology and change, they have to! What is so surprisingly beautiful to me is to already see their seeds of faith. Andrew has been so excited for conference this entire week. He kept counting down the days. The kids love it partly because of the huge brunch we have, and we can stay in our pjs until noon, but Andrew also drew a picture early on in the week about it. So many great and exciting things happening in the church and I'm anxious to see how it affects missionary work.

We not only have a spiritual feast, but a temporal feast as well. Here was our menu for Sunday morning brunch:

Hearty Egg Casserole
Breakfast Banana Splits
Cottage Cheese Muffins
Three Berry Kuchen w/ whip cream
Apple Juice
Milk

It was all yummy!

Do you want my autograph?

This week was crazy insane. I finished out my financial makeover year with Imagine and Happier You with two newspaper articles, three television appearances, countless interviews and an onstage appearance at the Smart Women, Smart Money conference. It was great to attend, but made for a very tiring day Wednesday. At the conference, the DMC committee presented me with a Lion House basket of goodies, a $50 scholarship starter kit for each one of my kids for Utah Education Savings Plan and, my personal favorite, a $1000 check. I feel blessed to have been part of this amazing journey and where it has led our family, but I'd be Melly Mendacity if I said I've loved the media attention. In fact, I'm glad it's over mostly for that reason. I haven't loved being in the public eye for the past year. Why couldn't my Dad have passed on his cool camera collectiveness to me?

It was so nice to have my mom-in-law, Jana, Nicole, Curtis, Todd and my girls at the conference for support. Geena Davis spoke and it was interesting to hear her Hollywood perspectives. Her platform? More female equality in media for young kids. Hmmm. She's an Olympian in archery and even had twins at 48! That's a far cry from Beetlejuice. It was also intriguing to note that although a beautiful model and actor, she has struggled with her own self-image. Crazy what the world does to us all, isn't it?

Many of you have asked for links to stories and such, so I thought I'd post them here for you.

Deseret News Article (been told there's another, but can't find it)

Morning Show on KSL

Nightly news report of conference

Curtis' take

Here's a few pics from Todd's view:

Amanda Dickson is one FUNNY lady!

Cristie Richards (my mentor over the past year) is letting me in on the $1000 news that sits in my hot, sweaty little hand. She says, "Don't spend it all in one place!" She should know better--it's going right to savings!

Us with all our goodies. They had Kendra bring up a beautiful bouquet of fall flowers. Can you tell she didn't want to be up there?

Geena Davis speaking on women representation equality. Surprisingly, she had a deep voice, but was quite witty and fun.

Money Matters Monday

So here I am at the end of my journey. Or is it?

The fact of the matter is, I did win a financial makeover a year ago and have been heavily
involved in a financial overhaul ever since, yet I still feel like my feet are tucked firmly into the starting blocks at the beginning of a race. It is a race that I have started several times in my life. I have pushed off of those same blocks before, but never got to full speed and certainly never came close to finishing. In fact, more often than not, I tripped, fell and got completely trampled by others who, like me, were running this financial race of life. Some fell alongside me and still others ran on ahead, strong and confident. And they run on. Grumpily, I'd sit up, scratch my head and ask, "How do they do it"?

I was tired of falling, being munched into the asphalt, losing hope that I would ever be strong
enough to rise and finish the race. So, I asked for help. In turn, I was given the amazing opportunity for a financial makeover through Imagine a Happier You, and subsequently, I was given a coach. Her name is Cristie Richards. My coach adequately gave me the training and the tools that I needed to not only finish this race, but win it!

Cristie's coaching tools included, but were not limited to, tracking my finances, making a
working budget, using a cash-only envelope system and saving like crazy. These are the tangible tools, yet there is one tool that she consistently encouraged me to use, though it was not something she could easily give me. The tool? Discipline. She couldn't be the imaginary angel on my shoulder every minute, telling me what to buy or not to buy. Discipline is something I had to practice on my own.

Sometimes there will be hurdles thrown in my path. They will come in the form of having a sick
child being life-lighted to Primary Children's Hospital for six days or a washing machine breaking down or car repair; really, the list is limitless. Now, however, I am armed with the tools necessary to hopefully sail over those hurdles, prepped for the future.

That doesn't mean I won't fall. In fact, here I am after a full year of coaching, still struggling every day to make sure the budget is balanced, that we have enough money for violin lessons and that darn watermelon we were asked to bring to the next family BBQ. My money problems haven't magically disappeared over the course of the year. I am still trying to grab hold of our slippery budget. Slippery because as kids grow and needs arise, it is ever changing. I haven't mastered it yet. What I have mastered is the discipline. And that has made all the difference.

Money is one of those things that if you don't master it, it will indefinitely master you. I want to
send a call out to anyone who has ever struggled to stay above water, financially. The call is one of encouragement, from someone who knows and has been there, and is many senses, is still there. Don't give up! Don't be the one who stumbles and refuses to pick herself back up, laying motionless, waiting for someone to rescue you by saying you've won the next Publisher's Clearing House. Realize that there is strength still left in your legs, then rise up, pat the dust off your pant legs and walk back to those starting blocks. Discouraging? You bet! Hopeless? Not on your life!

The starting blocks are put in place and it is time to take my position. My coach gathers her
things, wishes me luck and heads for the exit. My mind is focused, my muscles conditioned. Fear has been replaced with confidence. It is time to do this on my own. And I can. This race will not have a finish line. In fact, I plan on running every day that I have breath. I hope that with more practice, I will gain momentum, feeling comfortable in my stride and perhaps enjoying a few lovely vistas along the way. Won't you join me? After all, I could use a few running partners.

On your mark . . .

Realizations from my week

Realization #1: After shopping for jeans, I realized that there are two types of people in this world--those who can wear skinny jeans and those who can't. Though I am perfectly content with my body weight, I happen to fall in the latter category. And I'm okay with that. This Moody Booty doesn't do tighty-tight.

Realization #2: I will never be calm and collective with a news crew shoving a camera in my face. My brain goes to mush and my mouth seizes up. Ugh. On Tuesday I had to go to KSL studios to be interviewed, wrapping up my year with Imagine a Happier You. It will be shown at Wednesday's Smart Women, Smart Money Conference.

Realization #3: Our Colby is destined to be a pro-golfer. If he doesn't want to eat his dinner, he will ask, "If I eat this, will it help me hit the golf ball really far?" If we say yes, he will eat. This week he was putting together a puzzle of the U.S. A few minutes later he said, "Mom, I want to go to Panama. Because there is golfing in Panama. So, can I go there someday?" How about we start at the Cedar Hills Golf Course?

Realization #4: Perhaps I talk on the phone too much? (See Andrew's drawing) The picture depicts the incident according to Andrew. After standing on the table, Ty fell off. Apparently I was obliviously on the phone in the office.

Realization #5: Organic apples really do taste better.

Realization #6: No matter how tall or old Kendra gets, I still want to baby her when she gets sick. She had a headache for a few days (sure hope she doesn't inherit my migraines!) and a fever last night. She was the last thought of my night and the first thought this morning. She woke up feeling much better. Side note: While walking down the streets in CA this summer, often I'd be pleasantly surprised when she'd slip her hand in mine and, unembarrassed, walk hand-in-hand with me for several minutes. I know moments like that are fleeting as she gets older, but I'll take them whenever they arise.


Realization #7: I like mountain biking! I tried this for the first time this week with some friends. After falling end-over-end down a hill onto some rocks, and taking home some gnarly scrapes and bruises, I think I shall do this again and soon.

Realization #8: After taking 3 kids to the BYU football game, Todd realized that the kids go with him for one reason and one reason only: treats. Oh, and he also realized once again that BYU offense stinks.

Realization #9: I am ever-amazed at the goodness of people. After an overwhelming response to our fund-raising neighborhood yard sale, we raised $10,300! (Back story: When planned long ago in ward counsel, one of the members of the bishopric, by inspiration, gave this $10,000 goal. Everyone else laughed. It was amazing to see just how close to the mark we came--not a coincidence in my opinion. Amazing also how Father works and speaks to men. After this report in sacrament today, there were many wet eyes.) Being on the committee and in charge of the bake sale, I watched as people contributed hundreds of homemade chocolates, cookies, breads, pies, muffins, you name it. I loved seeing into the hearts of these great people around me. It was a magical moment where they were completely connecting to the God-like qualities given them at birth, the elements of the soul that need to be exposed more often. And I'm committed to trying to get in touch with that divine part of myself more frequently.(I totally stole this picture from a neighbor's FB post--thanks Bro. Lawrence! This pic only shows about a third of what was there. It was an amazing sight to see for sure!)

Goodbye Summer

What better way to celebrate Fall than to remember our summer?
This is long overdue, but it is what it is.
This summer we went to southern CA, staying mostly in Oceanside.
I tried to narrow our pictures down
ended up with over 300.
So this video pretty much flies through 300 pictures.
But we just can't stop watching it.
At least you get a glimpse of the fun we had.
And it was.
In fact, we want to go back.
Very, very soon.

Summer 2011 from Melody Hillam on Vimeo.

And the tension builds. . . .

Who's as excited as I am to watch this tomorrow?
Should be a great game
as usual.

Go Cougars!!!

Whew! What a Weekend!

Last Thursday Todd and I took the girls to the Broadway Mary Poppins at the Capitol Theater. Sitting about 8 rows back, this was the closest we had ever been at a show and to me it made a difference! It easily moved to the top of my list of favorite plays. Bert was straight from playing Bert in NYC and the voices on every single actor was amazing! "Step in Time" was my favorite scene. There was as much magic as the movie. I wish I could see it again before it leaves SLC!

This weekend was our annual weekend girls' getaway to Midway and Swiss Days. We stayed at a friend's cabin front-door welcome late Friday afternoon by a nest of mice. Ack! Everyone, aside from animal-living Kilee, about flew through the roof. Okay not everyone--mostly me and Nicole. Everyone else stayed quite calm. We made Kilee catch the four baby mice, who looked like they had been poisoned and were on their way out of this life anyway. She got them in a paper cup and pulled an older brother prank by chasing bladder-filled Nicole around with them (see picture).

After putting our bags in the cabin and throwing away another bloated dead mouse, we headed to Park City where we rode the newer Alpine Slide at the Olympic Oval. It was a lot of fun, though I wish it would have gone faster! I even saw a deer standing near the track. After our adventure, we headed to Flying Sumo where we stuffed ourselves silly with sushi (so yummy!). After dinner, we went to Whole Foods (I love this store) where we shopped around for a long while and tried to find Nicole some late-night, low-carb protein (she settled on cheese sticks and we teased her about the possibility of mice being attracted to her open sleeping mouth). We even Googled mice-repellant and bought some peppermint oil. We stopped at The Store in town to pick up a flashlight and still more mice repellant.

The cabin was old, but beautiful and on some beautiful property. When we drove up, we noticed it was very, very dark. Since Mom had bought the half-working flashlight, we felt like we would be able to find our way in okay. Upon arrival, we noticed the sliding glass door curtain was wide open and a light inside was on (neither which we had remembered leaving that way). Kilee and I thought we heard something in the bushes, so we grabbed the flashlight, while others were gathering things from the car, and noticed that it was only some bugs. Immediately after we shined the flashlight toward the cabin, the light inside turned off. We made everyone jump back in the car and explained what happened. Pretty soon we were all convinced that someone was in the house and had turned the light out when he heard us arrive. I called the owners to see if they had a sensor light that may have been tripped by a mouse (they didn't) while Kilee called the police. Since we didn't know the address, we waited for a unit to meet us at a gas station and then he followed us out to the cabin.

Upon arrival, Kilee and I explained to Officer Ray further what had happened and after seeing how dark the property was, he seemed a little freaked out and called for backup. Two additional units came, one a K-9. We stayed in our car, literally shivering with fear, while the three men headed to the cabin. I'm not sure who it was who suggested we pray, but we needed the Lord's comfort. As Mom was praying, we heard a lot of yelling from the policemen and the dog barking like crazy. Our hearts stopped and Kilee unrolled the window (whilst Mom is still praying) and we heard him yell, "STAND DOWN, STAND DOWN!!!" followed by more crazy barking. This sealed it; surely they had found someone inside. But after we saw the officers calmly checking the outside property, we realized it must have been protocol upon entering a property.

After a few minutes, they came back and explained to the 5 wide-eyed, white-with-fear women that the property was clear, bags had been untouched and there was no sign of forced entry. Just as they were explaining this, Mom gave a fearful gasp (you know the one), and pointing back at the house said, "The light upstairs just came on! Why did the light come on?" I think at this point that the three men were thoroughly convinced we were all crazy. One chuckled and said, "Maybe it was ghosts?!" but then they all reluctantly offered to go back in and check a second time, since the first time apparently wasn't good enough. We started to feel a bit sheepish and headed to the cabin. The officers discovered that the upstairs light had only one old florescent bulb, which seemed to dim and brighten randomly, thus the on and off of lights. After they declined our offer for a slice Kilee's homemade peach pie, and after we apologized, the officers left. One even said this was a better call than the one they had come from (a drunk man beating up his wife) because it got them out of more paperwork.

Sigh. Way too much excitement for one night.

As the adrenaline levels came down, we ate peach pie, played games, watched for scurrying mice and laughed at ourselves. Ironically, Mom had brought a copy of an article for each of us entitled "Confessions of a Recovering Worrywart" so we read that together. Everyone else seemed to sleep on the five mattresses in the loft just fine (Lacey's snoring and Kilee's and Mom's talking in their sleep is proof) but I didn't. In the morning after Lacey had gone downstairs to the bathroom, she whispered to Mom, "I found another mouse." You should have seen how quickly the rest of the "sleeping" room shot up to the sitting position, quizzically listening for details. It was only after we were up for the morning that Kilee was able to shoo it out of an open door (thanks Ki! You're our hero!). We had scrambled eggs and green smoothies for breakfast. It was delicious.

We found a great little thrift store in Heber and spent some time there. Then we went to Swiss Days where we shopped. At lunchtime, I once again sat watching everyone else eat their brats and sauerkraut (eww). We really had a great time. One with many, many laughs and lasting memories. Thanks ladies!