And the tie-breaker is. . . . .

See the following video to find out!


I am guilty AND I am a bad mother. This child will never forgive me. As I lay on the table, found out I was having a boy, my heart sank. I knew all the kids would be disappointed and I felt like I had somehow let them down. The wells of tears I was fortunately able to keep from spilling over. Sadness yes, followed by an intense feeling of guilt engulfed me. I was 99% sure I was having a girl. I started finding names, had bedding picked out and was getting ready to give away my bins of boys clothes, since this is our 5th and final.

You see, the XY chromosome is not a strong one in Todd's family. He is the only boy, with 5 sisters; his dad is the only boy with 6 sisters(he had a brother that died when still a newborn); his grandpa was the only boy with a few sisters of his own(though he did have a brother with 2 sons; one died young and the other was disabled, unable to have children). SO, the pressure was on when we got married to carry on the family name. Since the gender is determined by the man, I knew it was all up to Todd. So, everyone was elated when we had our first. Great! Pressure off. Then, when we found out we were having a second, Todd's grandpa nearly threw out his back jumping up from his Lazy-boy, upon finding out--truly. (My opinion? I'm thinking since Grandpa has since moved on, he had something to say about this here boy coming down!) Somehow, someway, we are the exception to the Hillam rule. Number 3 Hillam boy is one his way!

By this time, it has been nearly 8 years since I've dolled up, frilled up, had people gush over, and gone shopping for all those darn cute pink, flowery bows, blankets and clothes. I know, I'm shallow. So yes, I was disappointed and I still feel guilty about it. HOWEVER, since it has sunk in, not only am I feeling better, but also a bit relieved, yes, even excited. To me, there is nothing like my little boys. Sure, they are full of energy, mischievousness, loudness and even the occasional sound of bodily noises, but I'm a sucker for them. They melt me. And their laughter is the sound of heaven itself--nothing fills me with more joy. And besides, only a boy could make good use of an old wrapping paper tube:


I know this little guy chose us as parents and I feel honored to have him coming into our home. We are excited and look forward to meeting you, our little baby boy.