An Empty Nest

It's hard for me to fathom my life without having kids to take care of 24/7. Sure, some days I long for some real alone time, but truth be told, I don't like to ponder very long the thought of not having my kids around. Why? Well, it just makes me sad. My children are the source of much frustration in my life, but they are also the source of my greatest joys.

Both our parents are swiftly approaching this "empty nest" stage of life. My mom is often heard saying, "I'm entering this phase of my life kicking and screaming." At first I was confused by why she would say such a comment; why should it be so bad to spend more one-on-one time with your husband? After thinking more about it, I've come to realize that I will most definitely be saying the same thing come 20 years from now. Life without my kids around? Well, like I said, I don't like to think about it.

Todd's parents, as of this week, will no longer have kids at home. I asked her tonight how she's feeling about everything. With a chuckle she said, 'It's amazing! We actually cleaned the house and it stayed clean!" They look forward to many evening dinners together and perhaps she'll even pick up the golf clubs again, and they will once again share the hobby that was theirs many moons ago. They still hold hands everywhere they go. This is an aspect of marriage that I hope we can keep up. It's a sweet thing to behold at any age. It symbolizes unity and togetherness in whatever you might be doing.

I do look forward, in some regards, to spending our time together. Maybe we can get through two sentences without someone interrupting or needing a drink or tattling on someone; maybe we can finish dinner without a spill or needing to wipe a bum; maybe we will be able to pick up and go to dinner or a movie without having to call half the neighborhood too see if they can babysit; maybe my worries of who is going to fall down the stairs? who is putting their hands in the toilet? who is too close to the street? who just swallowed which cleaners? who hasn't done their practicing? who hasn't felt enough love from me today? will all go away. Somehow I don't think so. If I am a Mom, and I will always be a Mom, those worries will never go away. In fact I hope they don't. I hope I'm involved enough in my children's lives that I can be there for them, love them, worry for them and cry with them as they experience life as I have.

So for right now I will take the dirty diapers and the messy house, knowing that someday soon it will all be gone. That will be a sad day for me indeed. My plan for us is to serve mission after mission for the Church as long as health will permit. Right now I gladly take my mission of motherhood and cuddle with them as long as they will allow me.